The Church Speaks on SEX

Okay, I bet that headline got your attention!  This blog is actually a Book Review.  The book is entitled, “REAL MARRIAGE” ‘The Truth about Sex, Friendship & Life Together by Mark and Grace Driscoll.

In preparing for this post, I read a couple of other bloggers review on this book.  Where I truly believe everyone is entitled to their own opinions concerning their likes and dislikes, it infuriates me for someone to render stark opinions about a book having not even cracked it open.

Let’s face it Pastor Mark Driscoll is known for being a loud mouth, pompous, crude, somewhat bully and an opinionated tyrant when it comes to addressing certain topics of discussion.  On the surface it appears nothing is off limits. He has earned the title of One of the 25 Most Influential Pastors some have called him the “Most Controversial preacher of the 21st Century.”

Although I don’t always agree with everything he says and I believe that he can be a loose cannon with his mouth, I do applaud him as being, at least , one of the ‘brave pastors’ who is willing to take certain subjects  dead on while other pastors promise to take them on but never really deliver.

I also believe that Driscoll is an effective teacher, evidenced by his 7000 member church (Mars  Hill Church). I must admit I was intrigued by all the fuss about his controversial book a on marriage and made a point to order it and was glad I did.

Here are a few reasons that I did like the book.

1)      Like Captain Kirk, he dared go where no other preacher would go addressing real issues frank and explicit – no coded terms in here.

2)      Driscoll shares the historical perspective of priest abstinence, sex for procreation only, birth control violations, etc. without drowning us in endless details.

3)      He addresses facts that Christians really want to know about but can’t get frank answers from the church because of fear.  Chapter 10 which is called, “Can We ______?” leaves no subject uncovered.

4)      His book does reference scripture, but does not waste the readers time filtering through scriptural rewrites with the exception of his interpretation of the Song of Solomon which he breaks down.

5)      Book size is manageable.  I like reading books that I can get through in a couple of days.

The first part of the book talks about friendship and marriage as well as a transparent view of  personal hang-ups and baggage both Mark and Grace brought into their marriage.  They offer practical suggestions how to communicate better with each other especially in the chapter called, “Friends with Benefits.”

The second part of the book deals with the subject of SEX. The chapter causing the most fireworks is chapter 10 which is called, “Can We _____?”  This addressed just about every issue from masturbation, oral sex to the use of toys, role playing and even cosmetic surgery.  I did like how they addressed each topic in this chapter addressing each topic According to God and According to Government laws by these three measurements:

1)      Is it Lawful?
2)      Is it Helpful?
3)      Is it Enslaving?

I must admit some things were a little hard to wrap your mind around, and some things I outright disagreed with, however,  I must say I am grateful that someone really decided to take this subject on in more of a direct way instead of beating around the bush using coded worded leaving their readers to guess what they are talking about.

Mark’s passion was that this book was designed to enrich marriages, get couples talking to one another again, to answer questions of what is permissible and to create greater intimacy.  He further added that if the church doesn’t address the questions because of fear, then members will attempt to get answers from unhealthy places.

What do you think about the video clip?  Have you read the book?  What sayeth you?


One response to “The Church Speaks on SEX

  1. I would like to respond to the three questions.
    Is it Lawful? Is it helpful? Is it enslaving?
    I believe that it depend on the motive at the time. It may be lawful, but am I doing it for the right reason. For instance am I doing this because I love you, or am I doing it to get something from you or TO control you. what i am doing may be lawful, but I am doing it for me, with no consideration of you. It may be lawful, but I know that you are not comfortable with what ever. Does this give me the right to demand that you go along with me. Just because it is lawful, does not make it expedient.

    Is it helpful?
    I will use as an example to establish my perspective. A platonic relationship can be very helpful to both. The problem comes in, when one or both what to take it out of context. I use the word context, to say we got to look at the big picture. SUBJECTS SUCH AS THESE WE NEED TO BE OPEN AND HONEST WITH OUR SELF. Some people know how far to go. Others can take something that is helpful and lawful and pervert a good thing.

    Is it enslaving? Eating has become enslaving for some people. There have been cases were people have become water log, from drinking water which is very good for you. Not only can the particular activity become enslaving, you can turn you partner into your slave. Especially when they are compromising who they really are or like to please you.

    Temperance is one of the fruit of the spirit, this will keep everything in its proper place. Anytime you begin to operate in pleasure zones, you could be setting your self up. Not saying that it is wrong. It is hard to stop anything that feels good. The natural response is to want more, more. Everything has a threshold. Once that is reached, and you are not discipline enough to know how far to go.

    We must be true to why we are doing what ever. Because we can take the scripture and twist anything in the name of Jesus to fulfill our flesh.

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